Last month, my squad did this crazy thing our mentor called Burn Week. This would be a week full of prayer, worship, and feasting with our Abba, but there was a catch; prayer and worship would be happening none stop. Crazy, I know. We prayed for 24 hours for the 7 days we were there. Shifts would happen so that someone was praying for every hour.
On the left is our cute little yurt camp. We had so much fun laughing with one another, worshiping, praying, and learning together. We also got up early to watch the sunrises because they were so beautiful, as you can see on the right with Raquel, Steph, Paula, and Abbey.
I had no issues with this. I thought it would be incredible; that was until Jehovah invited me into repentance. Yeah, you read that right. I was not excited to go through repentance with Him. Holy Spirit brought up things I didn’t like, mainly my comparison and bitterness towards my brothers. It sucked!
We got to worship all the time, and man, did God work on me in this area. It was incredible to be a part of this week. On the right Mary is spending some time with God, which a lot of us did because Jehovah kept drawing us to Himself.
Jesus walked me through how I had compared myself to my brothers on the Race, all eight of them. I had started aiming to be like them, doing what they did, or at least attempting it—the musical capabilities, humor, God-given gifts, intellect and knowledge, wisdom, and others. I, obviously, did not do it as well as they did, which is when the bitterness crept in. After walking through the specifics with God, He then told me to go and ask for forgiveness from each of them…He wanted me to go and speak these ugly truths to my brothers, these hidden sins that I had kept to myself, and ask them to forgive me.
I had ZERO desire to do this. When I tried to worship and pray with this incomplete, it felt like God had shut the doors to His worship room. I couldn’t enter into His presence; my disobedience prevented me from entering, not Elohim. So I reluctantly did as He asked me. It was hard but so worth it.
Only after doing that did my heart began to worship God truly; I was naked and bare before Him. As I stood before my Creator, naked, I finally was able to ask a question that I had lost the answer to for a long time: what makes me unique? The biggest question in my life has been, who am I? This question went further than “finding myself.” I quite literally knew nothing about myself. My birth mother and father’s names, siblings, any family connections, the place of birth, why I was left on the street, and many more are all unknown to me.
God has answered my first question: I am a son of the Most High God. He is now walking me through what makes me unique. That journey started with me putting comparison aside. All of the guys forgave me, but now that I’m no longer trying to be them, I’ve begun asking God what makes me unique. I want to walk boldly and confidently into the person God made me, the one and only Jacken.
Do you know what makes you unique, or have you, like me, attempted to be someone you aren’t? When was the last time you sat and asked God how He made you unique? I would challenge you to ask Him as soon as you finish reading this. You will love His answers.
